


My Heart in Your Hand

by lovesmoakingarrow



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Protective Avengers, Protective Bucky Barnes, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-16
Updated: 2015-08-16
Packaged: 2018-04-15 01:42:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4588230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovesmoakingarrow/pseuds/lovesmoakingarrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony blames the winter soldier for his parent's death without knowing the identity of the winter soldier. When he finds the tragedy of Bucky Barnes, he learns to forgive and forges friendship and love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. World against me

**Author's Note:**

> Please talk to me at tumblr [here](http://www.lovesmoakingarrow.tumblr.com)

Tony Stark was a selfish man. Ask him, he'd say that to you himself. He does not have a lot of friends and the friends he does have, he cherishes them with all his heart. He would do anything to protect his friends. For a long time, the only people he trusted were Pepper, Rhodey, and Happy. All of them have seen him in his absolute worst and still stuck with him. They are his best friends.

His entire world revolves around Pepper and he will burn the world with him in it for Pepper. She was his life line in his insane life. Lately, he and Pepper are growing a bit apart. He could feel the drift in their relationship. He could feel Pepper pulling away from him. The more convinced she is pulling away, the harder he clung to her. Sometimes, he wondered if all the reason they are both clinging to this relationship is being scared to let the other one down.

James Rhodes was the one who Tony considered a true friend. Tony honestly could not remember a time in his life that did not have Rhodey in it. Rhodey pulled him out of the hole he had sunk in after his parent’s death. Howard Stark would never win the Father of the Year Award and Maria Stark was a more of a socialite than a mother but still their deaths hit Tony harder than he imagined. Rhodey was right there with Tony when he was chasing after models, when the models chased him, when he first met Pepper and hired her in spot, and when Tony finally brought Pepper into his circle of trust. Happy was Happy. Happy was so much more than his driver/bodyguard. Happy would protect him with his life and now is happily in charge of Pepper’s protection.

The Avengers he considered as teammates but his level of trust varied with them. Natasha came to him under a false name and had lost his trust when she revealed she was working for SHIELD. He fought with her shoulder and shoulder against the chitauri attack and was awed by her fighting, her wit, and her coolness under pressure but he doesn't believe he will every trust her completely. 

Clint and Thor became his friends after the invasion. Clint’s sense of wit and Thor’s child-like enthusiasm made it easier for him to be their friend. Even then, he did not know things about them beyond what SHIELD had on them. Clint had a shit of a childhood and was betrayed by his own brother. He understood that Clint trusting him was a precious gift that he even ignored the man’s obnoxious habit of lurking in the vents and sleeping on top of refrigerators.

The last avenger he has the most conflicting feelings about is Captain Rogers, aka, Captain America, aka, Steve Rogers, aka, the pain in his ass for the most of his life without even existing in his life. Howard idealized Rogers. Captain America was one of the finest things Howard helped to create. Tony never measured up to that. All his life, Tony tried to come up to Howard’s unrealistic expectations but always fell short. Growing up, All he ever wanted was to be just like Captain America. His accomplishments were always ignored him in favor of Howard's search for Captain America. Naturally, he was conflicted when he saw Steve Rogers. He still had the hero adulation of the childhood and also the anger that Rogers was the reason his father was never proud of him, never had time for him and of course Steve’s righteous tone did not help either.

After Loki’s temper tantrum, he kept tabs on every members of his team and knew Steve had joined Shield and has settled confortably in DC. He thought maybe he should call Steve and let him know about agent 13 next door who also happens to the niece of his sweetheart, Peggy Carter but then decided if Steve wants his help for anything he will ask.

Watching the Hellicarriers fall, he remembered anxiously waiting for a call from Steve for his help (It all happened so fast Tony. There was absolutely no time to assemble the avengers). He knew when he was being fed bullshit and Maria Hill was feeding him exactly that but he had an even bigger problem right then. He already knew 99% of the documents Natasha loaded to the wide open world but it was the 1% he did not know that threw his world upside down. 

The document in question was a simple witness report stating that there was a witness of a bright glare at the site of his parent’s death. When cornered as much as he can corner Natasha about DC, all she said was "I don’t know what more to tell you Tony." He watched her coolly handling the senate investigators and knew exactly he is being lied to. "A guy was there on the highway and he shot me. I think they call him winter soldier." She clearly evaded the questions he had as to whether it was the Winter Soldier who attacked Steve. (How could someone beat a super soldier, the super soldier to death, who pulled Steve out of the water and called for ambulance). So many questions and not enough answers.

He knew there is more to this story than he is being fed and the only person who can provide him the answers will be the one person he really did not want to talk to (he would rather have a root canal without anesthesia than ask Steve). Digging through the Shield dump he understood that the Winter Soldier was a Russian assassin and was responsible for more than a dozen high profile assassinations. He must have been extremely skilled and highly trained if he managed to shoot Natasha and lived to tell the tale.

Natasha talked about the winter soldier with a pained face or what passes as that for her. This Russian assassin apparently had a metal arm with bionics (he could almost hear Pepper's voice in his head berating him for being fascinated by an assassin's arm). Was it possible that it was the Winter Soldier who was responsible for his parent’s death? Steve could provide him info but still Steve is refusing his offer to come and recuperate in the tower. He cannot put his finger on it but knew he was missing a vital piece as to what happened in DC.

He did not know why Maria Hill is not asking him to approve for a manhunt for the Winter Soldier when he was allegedly responsible for Fury's death (he will never believe that unless he saw Fury's body and burned it and checked every inch of ashes himself, Fury was that kind of bastard). Pepper admonished him as being obsessed but he knew that Shield was hiding something again and somehow the Winter Soldier was a piece of the information they were hiding. He only felt mildly guilty when he slipped a bug in Steve's phone at the party. Whatever Shield was hiding, Steve had knowledge of it and he didn't care to share it with the team.

Natasha was even more tight lipped than usual and she glimpsed at Steve with worry in her eyes, so she is in on the secret and then there was the guy with code name Falcon at the party. Tony saw footages of him fighting along Steve on the hellicarrier (something was seriously wrong with him if he was concentrating on the Winter Soldier's thigh when he kicked the Falcon off the hellicarrier and ripped his wings like it was made of paper). There was a god chance that this guy knew what Shield was hiding as well and he wasn't even an Avenger. His doubts were confirmed when they were talking about a missing person. Before Tony could confront Steve about all that, Ultron happened.

In the heart of fighting, Tony did not ask Steve about the winter soldier but after he came back from the new Avengers facility, he activated the bug in Steve’s phone and first he and Sam Wilson were talking about nothing in particular, then Wilson started mentioning about how maybe he didn’t want to be found. Tony was hearing the conversation with dread growing in his stomach. He knew he was on the verge of something, but is that something he wants to know he isn’t sure. All his instincts are stating he should just walk away but very rarely he had self preservation.

Hearing Wilson say "Steve man, the man you knew before may not be the man he is now. You have to understand and accept that possibility" brought red hot rage in Tony. Steve had known the winter soldier. He thought he was friendly enough with Steve that he knew almost everyone who was in contact with Steve. With his next words, Steve shattered Tony's world. "I understand everything you are saying Sam, but this is Bucky, my best friend. I cannot and will not turn my back on him." Bucky Barnes, Sgt James Buchanan Barnes, the only member of Howling Commandos to give his life for the mission, best friend of Steve Rogers is the winter soldier, now Tony really wished he walked away.

Everything was white noise for Tony at this moment. The most important question for him right now is did the winter soldier kill his parents. What did Bucky Barnes had against Howard Stark? Was he the only target and his mother the collateral damage or were both of them targets? He started his own search on the winter soldier. He refused to acknowledge him as Barnes right now. The most important question is how is Barnes still alive. When and how did Barnes start working for Hydra? What compelled him to become the assassin he was? To Tony, the more he thinks, the more obsessed he is becoming and the more angrier.

He called Steve and asked him to meet him the next morning for an Avengers matter. Steve had no clue what awaited him when he entered the tower and surprisingly Tony was waiting for him in the lounge. Tony waited no time to ask Steve the one question he was burning to ask, "Will you betray the team for your best friend, Steve?" Steve was not actually that shocked by the question. He knows Tony very well and he knows that the other man will not let anything go until he analyzed things to the core. He was waiting for this confrontation for a while and now that it is here he did not know what to say and he decided to go with the truth at last.

“Tony, you will never understand what Bucky means to me. He was my best friend, the one person who believed in me before anyone else did." Tony slightly staggered back at the emotional onslaught from Steve. "He fell from the train and I didn't reach him, all this super strength and speed and I wasn't useful to the one person who needed it the most at that time." Tony was so familiar with the self guilt (his past as a death merchant still haunts him in his dreams). "Hydra captured him Tony. Whatever Zola started on him in Azzano, he finished it when Shield released him." Seeing tears in Steve's eyes twisted Tony's gut.

"They brainwashed him, tortured him, wiped his memory after every mission, and kept him frozen in cryo freeze between mission. I will never give up on Bucky and will do anything for him Tony but I will never put anyone’s else safety and well being before him.” Now that is the Captain America Tony knew blindingly naïve to a fault. “Your friendship is blinding you to this guy Steve. No one can survive being cryofreezed for this long” and that is when Steve handed him the memory stick and told him to analyze that and tell him if what is in there is not true and Tony truly wished he hadn't eaten his breakfast.


	2. My world burns around me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony sees the videos of Bucky being tortured and meets the man himself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Talk to me in tumblr [here](http://www.lovesmoakingarrow.tumblr.com)

When Tony started extracting the data, he could see Steve slumped in his couch through his peripheral vision. "You know you looked better when they pulled you out of the ice" he said conversationally. Steve wasn't even surprised that Tony knew how he looked. "Do you always monitor Shield Tony or is it somewhat of a hobby to you." Bantering with Tony is slightly distracting Steve from the horror hidden in the data. He wants Tony to know what he was in for before he started analyzing everything. Tony was so engrossed in the data that Jarvis was currently processing he failed to notice Steve coming to stand closer to him.

"It is pretty graphic Tony what they did to him" Steve was choking on his words. "I just want you to know that before you start seeing what is on these files." Tony true to his nature disregarded what Steve said and opened the first of so many video files. A small man with glasses, Zola, was starting the recording. "This is the recording of test subject 001, test run 25. The subject is barely conscious and is slightly aware of surroundings. The subject's hand is amputated below the elbow and the infection has spread from the elbow to near the shoulder. The first course of treatment is removing the infected portion and attaching the advanced prosthesis." Tony almost threw up when the video showed Barnes lying on the table still conscious. His left hand was mangled and his eyes were glazed with pain. There were too many straps holding him to the table. Try as he might he cannot stop the video nor stop the horror that is about to happen in front of his eyes.

Zola droned on in a monotonous voice "Previous tests concluded that the subject is extremely tolerant to pain and this test run's objective is to determine if pain could be tolerated with severe blood loss." Steve was shaking near him and somehow Tony knew the worse is yet to come. Tony had to stop the video and catch his breath when he saw them cutting Barnes' arm and attaching the prosthetic arm without giving him any pain medication. The screams are still in his head. A hero of the war was being tortured and nobody was there to help him. Tony wondered had Howard known Barnes was still alive, would he have saved him.

Steve was looking at him with tears in his eyes. "If you want to know how they made him the winter soldier Tony, you should start after video 12." If the anticipated torture did not freeze Tony's heart, Steve's flat emotionless tone did. "I have watched all the videos, you know." Tony not knowing how to console or even having done it before, started video 13. Barnes was sitting in a dentist's chair and mumbling something. This time there was a different doctor "His name is Dr. Faustus Tony, he was a specialist in mind control." Of course Tony knew who he was, this was the infamous doctor who made Howard fly into Times Square with rage gas. Jarvis had told him the story once.

The doctor in question was frowning at Barnes who was strapped to the chair. Tony wanting to know what Barnes was mumbling "Jarvis please isolate Barnes voice and amplify it." Now he could clearly hear Barnes saying "Sgt James Barnes, 32557, 107th, howling commando, Steve Rogers" again and again. The doctor is question frowned again and gave a slight nod and suddenly there was a circular rod in Barnes' head and sparks flew. Those bastards were electrocuting him. The only mercy given to Barnes was the mouth guard so he doesn't bite his own tongue off. Screams tore through his throat and even after all that he was still repeating the same.

They are not even through 20% of the videos and he already saw Barnes being beaten, starved, sleep deprived, and electrocuted. Through all this, he still kept on saying "James Barnes, Steve Rogers" again and again. He forgot all the others but these 2 were the things they were having a hard time taking away. Part of Tony wanted it to be unreal. He did not think any human could survive what happened to Barnes but he already knew Barnes has a version of the super soldier serum in him. Turning around to look at Steve dropped his heart to his stomach. Steve was all but gone. There was nothing in his eyes right now. "They did this for almost 18 months nonstop Tony and the fucking funniest thing for them was Bucky forgot his name before he forgot mine. The last thought of him as Bucky was my name, Steve Rogers." Tony didn't even think to make fun of him for swearing, that is how serious it was.

If it was Rhodey in these videos, Tony would do everything in his power to make it right, so he understood where Steve stands. His heart was torn. It was much simpler when he wanted the winter soldier dead for killing his parents. Something about Bucky Barnes was pulling his heart strings, maybe because he was a prisoner once and was tortured but he felt nothing but sympathy for Bucky now, for he is Bucky now in his head. "When do you think they broke him completely?" his voice was too quiet and yet so loud to even his own ears. Steve mirthlessly answered him "No time frame Tony but videos 3 years later show him being taken out of cryo and he is just a blank slate. You want to know how they treat their asset Tony, because that is what he was for them, see video 74." Tony didn't but that didn't stop Steve from talking about it. "They were tapping the cryo chamber and laughing Tony like poking a fish in the aquarium. They take him out of the cryo and they are still laughing when he was brought out of cryo and they all die laughing Tony because within 30 seconds Bucky killed all the 5 before he even knew what was happening."

"He was my best friend and my brother Tony and I couldn't do a single thing to help him. Even now, I don't know what he is doing, where he is or how he is?" Watching Steve, the hero he adored as a child, the hero he aspired to be, breaking down because he couldn't save the one person who meant the most to him made Tony spring into action. If not for closure of his parent's death at for the sake of Steve, he has to find Bucky. He briefly considered calling Pepper but he didn't want her to be anywhere near this mess. "Jarvis start referencing any known Hydra base and cross reference with the bases that operated within the parameters of the winter soldier program" and deliver he did. Almost every base that was somehow involved with the winter soldier was destroyed. There were still a couple left and one was deactivated long time ago and one was relatively operational.

Steve he called, when there was no answer he turned to see Steve fast asleep in the couch dead to the world. He could try and wake him up and give him the information about his friend but looking at Steve he could see the dark circles around his eyes and decided to let him sleep. "Just a surveillance of the base and will come back even before Steve stirs." With that thought in his mind, Tony wrote it in a note and not wanting to waste a golden opportunity stuck it to Steve's head and took his suit and flew to the base. Contrary to what he thought, the base was swarming with activity. There were lights everywhere and agents were going in and out. Going stealth mode, Tony was just observing when the agents guarding the perimeter started dropping like flies. Even if his scan could not find the shooter, Tony knew HE was here, the winter soldier was here taking his stand against the last Hydra base.

He still did not know where the shots were coming from. Suddenly there was a shadow where there should be none moving towards the entrance, aha gotcha Barnes. What superhero he will be if he didn't help someone take a Hydra base down. With that thought, before the figure reached the entrance, he blasted the door and took off the stealth mode and got a knife to his chest for his help. Thank god his suit is immune to knife and bullets. He would have flipped the face plate off but he is sure he will get a knife to his eye if he did that. Before he could utter a single word, the Hydra welcome committee was there guns blazing.

Idiot in a thick Brooklyn accent was the only word he heard and before he could even fire a single blast, half of them were down with bullets in various parts of their body and that is when he saw HIM. The pictures did not do justice for the color of Bucky's eyes, "not a thought to be having in the middle of a shoot out Tony, at least when you don't have back up." Bucky's movements were so silent and graceful and Tony watched in awe when Bucky himself took out all the Hydra operatives at the front and disappeared again. A small whirr was the only thing he heard before the EMP hit him and his suit was down. There he was standing in the middle of a Hydra facility thinking about Bucky's eyes color without his suit, fanfuckingtastic. He could hear "Language" in Steve's voice in his head.

There were agents approaching him and when one of them was about to make Tony kneel, his savior came out of the shadows. Tony was pretty sure all the agents pissed themselves on seeing the winter soldier. There he was standing near the wall, a gun in his flesh hand and a knife swirling in his metal hand. "Hey fellas, wouldn't do that if I were you" Not having a brain must be a requisite for joining Hydra as one agent ran to attack the soldier forgetting that he even has a gun and got his neck snapped before he even came near the soldier. One by one the agents realized they had a brain and started shooting. Tony fell to the ground immediately not wanting to be caught in the cross fire.

When the gunfire stopped, he was met with a black shoe and an extended hand. Lifting himself up, he looked at the glorious face of Bucky Barnes who was actually having his hair in a small ponytail. If Tony thought, Steve was built like a tank he did not know how to describe Bucky. Knowing he was staring and quickly to evade embarrassment, he introduced himself. Tony wanted to say shaking hands with Bucky rocked his world but the world in reality was rocking from explosions. With a small lift of is lips, Bucky said "Time to go princess, this place is set to completely blow up in 3 minutes." Whatever he expected Bucky to be, this was not it. The suit has already rebooted and as he was about to get in it, the explosion was closer and there was a huge piece of concrete coming straight for his head.

Before he could move, he was pushed out of the way by Bucky and both fell down. He knew he blacked out but before he when he woke up, he saw Bucky unmoving beside him with a huge gash in his head and bleeding out. Time was running out and with no other option Tony got into the suit and lifted Bucky and flew out. He alerted Jarvis at home to keep Med Bay ready and to inform Steve that his Christmas came early and since he was a good boy Santa was bringing his present right now. Landing in the Med bay and peeling himself of the suit with an unconscious assassin in his hand, all he saw was Steve's half horrified and half ecstatic face before he too passed out.


	3. My port in the storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky gets used to the Avengers' life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Talk to me in tumblr [here](http://www.lovesmoakingarrow.tumblr.com)

Tony could hear a steady beep coming from somewhere around him. His first thought was to tell Dum-E to stop trying to wake him. He tried to swat Dum-E but was unable to lift his hand and that is why his panic started to set in. He couldn’t move his hands and the Beep was increasing and suddenly he heard Pepper’s voice asking him to calm down and he almost laughed in relief on seeing Pepper’s face. She hugged him mindful of his wounds and that is when it hit him, he was wounded and the fight at Hydra base came to his mind.

He didn’t dream about that did he? He really did meet the winter soldier. The winter soldier, Bucky his mind being the helpful thing it was reminded him, really did save his life. He still was reminded of the color blue in his eyes right before Bucky shoved him away from the ceiling when he was helpless out of the suit. With the thought of Bucky, he got out of bed or at least tried to get out before Pepper shushed him back in. There was something in Pepper’s eye that he can’t name “When did the winter soldier become Bucky, Tony?” Her tone was only curious. She was often the ear he ranted about the possibility of winter soldier killing his parents.

Last night Pepper had gotten a frantic call from Captain Rogers stating that Tony has been hurt in the process of apprehending the winter soldier. It broke her heart that despite everything she had done to dissuade him to work with the team and not go on solo mission to capture the winter solider, he had done exactly that and got hurt in the process. With a sigh, she had settled down in the chair close to him and started her vigil. She had done it so many times in the past after he had become iron man, she was too used to it by now. "Bucky" a hoarse sound from Tony's lip startled her awake. Tony was still unconscious but was calling out to Bucky who she just found out was the winter soldier.

All through the night at varying intervals, Tony was calling out to Bucky and from the looks of it was either in pain or having nightmares which she didn't think was at all possible while being unconscious but this was Tony and everything worked different for Tony. Almost midnight, Steve had stopped by and told her that Bucky was severely injured probably from falling debris and Jarvis had downloaded the footage and played it for them. She shuddered thinking what would happen to Tony had the soldier not pushed him out of the way and took the brunt of the debris himself. She still was in shock herself that the winter soldier did it for Tony.

After that night, she wasn't surprised to see Tony wake up with Bucky's name on his lips. She just wanted to know what changed Tony's mind about the winter soldier. Steve was rather tight lipped about it. When she asked him how the winter soldier became Bucky to him, Tony blanched and then groaned. There is no easy way to explain to Pepper the horror he witnessed in the videos. His eyes went distant as he remembered every single scream that came out of Bucky and the methodical cruelty that Hydra had shown when they wiped his mind.

"You think something is right Pepper and somehow you believe that with every fiber of your being and then something comes along and proves everything about your belief is wrong and make yourself look at the world in a different way." If Pepper was worried before, it increased tenfold now hearing Tony. Tony felt her grabbing his hand gently and told her everything he saw in the videos. "We didn't even see all the videos Pepper." Pepper could see how upset he was and embraced him tightly. "What happened to him is not something I would even wish on my enemies, not even Justin Hammer Pepper."  
"I just want to go see the guy I wanted dead for killing my parents who ended up saving my life even at risk to his own." Pepper always knew Tony had a great loving heart. He loved with all his heart and without guile. He also loved fiercely with no regard to his own. It made her feel horrible about what she is about to do and what she has to do for the sake of both their sanity and their friendship. Tony knew it before she can even form a word what was about to happen. If he loved Pepper any less, he would have tried to stall or make excuses but even Tony knew the writing on the wall when he seen one.

He was wandering in the hallways before he could go see Steve. He was grateful that he still had Pepper's friendship. He hadn't manage to mess that up. He needs to clear his head up before he meets with Steve. To Pepper's knowledge, Bucky was being kept unconscious until they decided what to do with him. How Fury got wind of his mission last night he will never know, chalk it up to one of Fury's mysticism. Head space cleared, he went to the med bay where Bucky was strapped on to the table and was clearly unconscious and there he was "Scowling Steve" glaring at some agents and surprise surprise there was Coulson standing. "Doesn't anybody stay dead anymore?" Coulson was squirming under the glare of Steve.

There was no Steve Rogers there, he was all Captain America in his righteous fury. On seeing Tony, Coulson rounded to him hoping to get him on his side. "Mr. Stark, thank you for bringing the winter soldier into custody. I was just saying Captain Rogers that he will be taken to Shield custody." Tony didn't know what was going on. Even after the Ultron fiasco, Fury didn't decide to trust the team, his team, his avengers to let them know that Coulson was alive. "You recently back from dead or Coulson or did you even die?" try as he might, Tony can't keep his anger out of his voice. "Does Clint know you are alive?" who is he kidding, of course Clint didn't know. He still has nightmares of Coulson's death at the hands of Loki.

"I am sorry Mr. Stark you don't have clearance for that info, but we really have to move the winter soldier into custody. I don't have to tell you how dangerous he is." Tony could see Steve bristling and wanted to put an end to this swift. "Do you know who the winter soldier is Coulson? Are you completely aware of who he is?" On Coulson's tiny nod, he barraged on "tell me Coulson, how do you think he is alive after all this time?" Whatever Coulson had thought he didn't count on Tony siding with the winter soldier. Without waiting for any answer, Tony said "His name is James Buchanan Barnes, Coulson and he is not leaving the Avengers Tower. I will round up all the avengers and we will keep a 24/7 watch on him if we have to but Bucky Barnes is not moving out of the tower into Shield custody." 

"He is a wanted criminal Mr. Stark" and that was enough to blow Tony up "There is no Shield Coulson. The entire organization has been disbanded remember. Jarvis, call Maria Hill and tell her I need to see her NOW." All of them made a fool out of him and the avengers. If Hill knew about Coulson being alive and she didn't let Clint, Natasha and the team know, there will be no Shield support from him from now. Coulson turned pale. He could almost see the wheels turning in Tony's head. Shield needs Tony Stark more than ever and with Bucky Barnes being involved, Captain Rogers' cooperation with Shield is on more shaky grounds. For the first time, Coulson began to think maybe he should have let Clint and Natasha known he was alive.

He thought with Skye standing beside him, getting Bucky Barnes into custody will be a easy job. He was counting on Tony Stark to side with him against any reservations Captain Rogers may have. His plan is now crumbling with Rogers not even moving an inch from the door behind which the winter soldier is unconscious. Skye was knocked unconscious before she even had the chance to raise her arm to use her force. Hill came running and was shocked to see him standing and he knew Shield was screwed.

Tony doesn't have to read minds to know that Hill knew Coulson was alive. Steve was going to do something particularly stupid, he was getting redder, more red by the minute. Tony herded everyone out of the pathway they were standing and gave a nod to Steve. Whatever Steve expected, he did not expect Tony to fight for Bucky. Yesterday after waking up from his nap, when he saw Tony wasn't there and only the note stating he has gone to scout some location and when Jarvis informed him it was the last remaining Hydra base, he immediately knew Tony went after Bucky. He wasn't at all surprised when Tony brought an unconscious Bucky.

Bucky looked almost like he was sleeping. He didn't like the straps attached to Bucky but he didn't know how much Bucky is left in the soldier. He was immensely relived and happy when Jarvis showed him the footage of Bucky pushing Tony to safety and taking the brunt of the trauma himself. That was the Bucky Barnes he knew, always selfless to a fault. Sam is coming over later from DC. He called Sam earlier and was in tears "Tony found him Sam. He was the Bucky I know, pushing Tony out of the way to keep him safe."

Lost in thought, he didn't notice Tony until he came and sat beside him. Tony was an enigma wrapped in mystery to Steve. Tony never took his eyes off Bucky. "Shield will not bother him Steve. They have no way in to hold him without making him a prisoner but after what he has been through there is no way I consent to Bucky being a prisoner." Steve looked at Tony in astonishment. This was the guy only yesterday was convinced the winter soldier needs to be punished. "I am not heartless Steve. I am not going to make him suffer after everything he has been through. The offer for the apartment still stands if you want" he just patted Steve in the shoulder and went to his own room.

Jarvis had the lights in his room to his comfort and the confrontation with Shield had worn him. Tony was out like a light even before his head hit the pillow. His dreams were full of blue eyes, an accented drawl, and electric sparks. Somewhere in between sleep and awareness, Tony knew he was being watched. There was someone in the room and Jarvis had not alerted him. Even though Tony didn't move a muscle, his heart was pounding and he heard the voice haunting his dreams "I am not going to hurt you Stark, calm down." When the panic in his head receded, he turned around to see Bucky perched on a table and watching him. "I definitely need to stop noticing his eyes" with that thought Tony swung himself out of bed and came face to face with Bucky. "Bell, Barnes, I am getting all you secret assassins bells to wear around your neck. Sheesh make a sound will ya?"

There was something completely wrong with him if he is beginning to find smirks of assassins, okay very hot assassins he will give you that, such a turn on. When Bucky moved out of the way for him, it occurred to him "how did you get out of the med bay. It was locked with maximum security." Bucky merely tilted his head, a gesture so similar to winter soldier, but his eyes told Tony a different story. Bucky tried to say something and seemingly opened and closed his mouth without uttering a single word. Tony's sarcastic "It is okay I don't bite" must have put Bucky at ease but still all Tony heard was a mumble of words. “Look I am not a super soldier, hell I am not even a spy. I don’t have superhearing, so will you please talk a little bit louder.” Bucky eyes locked with him and he knew just knew what is about to be said is what he was looking for in the first place. "They told me that the target will be in a car and to shoot him in the head when he comes around the bend." Tony knows that was not what happened. His father's tires were blown out and the car lost control and went off the road into a ravine. His mother's death was instant on impact. His father though slowly bled to death.

Tony gave a minute nod asking Bucky to go on, "I was waiting in position. I was fresh out of cryo and mind wipe Stark. My mind was completely blank but when I saw your father at the driving seat, I kept getting flashes of a man surrounded by too many women, fireworks, a flying car I think and something I can't name even now." "The stark expo" when Bucky didn't understand what he was talking about, Tony continued "It was the stark expo where my father had the flying car." Bucky swallowed heavily and continued "I couldn't pull the trigger and my handler, I think, continually kept ordering me to but I couldn't do it. I turned away from the road and my handler had to take the shot and all I heard was the car swerving off the road." Tears were pooling in his eyes "I ran, I know it was cowardly but there was a bridge in my mind and somehow I knew that I had to cross that bridge." Tony knew the rest of the story from the files Steve gave him how the winter soldier was found wandering in the streets of Brooklyn and how severely he was punished after they caught up with him.

Whatever he thought will happen when he met Bucky again was most definitely not this. Somehow knowing that Bucky didn't kill his mother eased the pain. He wouldn't have blamed Bucky even if he did but knowing he didn't, brought a relief he didn't know he would feel. Bucky was still having his head bowed, trapped in his own thoughts. With gentleness he only ever felt for Pepper before, he asked "the sun is coming up, do you want to have breakfast?” and that is how Steve saw them when he came out from his room both of them sitting in the breakfast counter and talking quietly. 

Steve did not know Bucky was awake and he most definitely did not know how he got out of med bay. It was guarded. Assuming it was Tony who got him out, "Tony thanks for getting him out. Hi Bucky." That is when it hit him about how Bucky got out. He was so deeply engrossed in what Bucky was saying, "now is not the time to think how deep Bucky's voice was and how much he would like hearing it say his name" with that thought to himself, he merely raised an eye brow at Bucky. With the smirk he is getting so used to Bucky just shrugged and said, "Hydra programmed me to do a little bit of hacking although I think your AI just let me out when I attempted." The breakfast that day was the best Steve had in the last 70 years and he hadn't even started eating.

These days Steve is over the top of the moon. He got his Bucky back. Most of the days he was the Bucky Steve remembered, kind, understanding, sarcastic, and sometimes, who is he kidding, almost always mother henning overbearing best friend but there are days when Bucky is just the ghost of the person. He doesn't talk to anyone, doesn't acknowledge anyone, and even forgets to eat or sleep. He just sits and stares at the same spot in the wall. What surprised Steve most of all was the fact that besides him Tony was the other person Bucky was comfortable with. He thought it may be Sam but Bucky sought Tony on his good days and most importantly bad days. Something about Tony's workshop was very comforting to Bucky.

Natasha and Clint sauntered in one day and very quietly asked Tony if they can stay at the Avengers Tower. Their faith in Shield whatever remained after the DC fiasco was completely shaken in finding Coulson survived and they didn't know. If Natasha was surprised to see Bucky lounging in his room, she didn't comment but was startled when she heard "я извиняюсь Natalia." She turned around and gave him a very long stare. Steve wanted to squirm in his seat but Bucky remained completely still and had his eyes locked on her. After a long time, she blinked and with a saucy smile "рад тебя видеть, товарищ James." With both her hands held palm outwards, she walked very slowly towards Bucky who still hasn't moved a muscle and kissed him on both his cheeks and very slightly on the corner of his mouth. "Вы не имеете ничего , чтобы быть жаль and walked away feeling lighter than she had every felt.

Clint chose that exact moment to drop from the vent and was looking forward and backward from Nat to Bucky "Nat Is this James? The James!!!! The James you have been terrorizing me about. Oh Cap! You have to hear her when I first brought her in. She was all like if James was here you would have been dead 3 seconds ago. She was James this and James that, man he doesn't look anything like Nat" and yelped in fear when he found himself being lifted off the ground by a metal hand. "When did you move man. You were standing there just a minute ago. Okay okay I agree, you are the best James there is."

Life was returning to what normality is for the Avengers but Bucky was increasingly becoming attracted to Tony but didn't say anything out of respect. Natasha knew him very well and will kick him in the shin if he was staring at Tony more than normal. He started making excuses to be near Tony; check my arm Tony, teach me how to make coffee Tony, I think I broke the microwave Tony but through all this Tony was so patient with him and always paid attention to him. He even explained what he was working on to Bucky. Oblivious Tony on the other hand was having a hard time resisting his urge to kiss Bucky. Sometimes, okay sue him all the time, he just want to run his hands into Bucky's thick hair which looked so soft.

Bucky came to him with all sorts of problems; his arm heating up, he broke the microwave, I don't know how to make coffee in this devil version of coffee maker Tony and Tony felt all warm over when Bucky sought him out. On his bad days, Bucky would just come to Tony's workshop put on the noise cancelling headphone and just sit in the corner. You and Dum-E almost always keep him company in the corner. His robots were as fascinated with Bucky as he was. Dum-E would try to catch Bucky's arm whenever he was there and Bucky being the goofy nerd he was would flex and show off his plates shifting to Dum-E. Dum-E gives out noises that would have sounded like squeals of joy and Tony wasn't entirely convinced he wasn't jealous of his own robot.

Everyday Bucky being in the lab, was making it harder for Tony to hide his growing attraction to Bucky. He has sometimes caught Bucky looking at him oddly, but never understood the meaning. To Tony, Bucky was off limits. He was Steve's best friend and he probably only thought of Tony as a friend. God damnit, Tony didn't expect for fall this hard for Bucky and was staring in the mirror wistfully when it hit him. The look on Bucky's face was the same one plastered on Tony's right now. "Is it possible that the Super Hot Russian Assassin liked him?" Tony was never a man of caution and he decided to throw caution to the wind and ask Bucky out and that is when the universe decided to fuck Tony up. The day Anthony Edward Stark decided to ask James Buchanan Barnes to have dinner with him as a date will hereby be known as the day the giant octopus took Manhattan hostage.

я извиняюсь = I am sorry.  
рад тебя видеть, товарищ = Good to see you, Comrade  
Вы не имеете ничего , чтобы быть жаль = You have nothing to be sorry.


	4. All for me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony finally gets to have that dinner with Bucky or does he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Talk to me at tumblr [here](http://www.yahoo.com)

To say Tony was pissed was like saying his suit was red. He was zooming in and out of the giant Octopus' tentacles and tried to cut one by one. The problem was the minute he cut them they grow back. Hydra really take their motto seriously. "you know Barton, this octopus must beat whatever wackiest mission you and Natasha had." He doesn't know where Clint is but just heard him "it will be if this thing just all of a sudden" and was cut off by Natasha shouting at him "Clint if you complete the godforsaken sentence, I will make sure you never sleep with your eyes closed" and as usual Clint carried on as if he wasn't interrupted at all "like I said, if this thing starts to give birth to baby octopus army, then yeah Tony it will be the wackiest." Now Tony knew what happened in Budapest.

Tony was trying to cauterize the tentacle he just cut off hoping to stop it from growing up, he hears "you just had to say it Barton." There they were baby octopuses swimming in slime and crawling all over the buildings. Okay Tony, maybe just maybe, thought they were in trouble. And just like that they got their backup in the form of their own deity. Thor landed on the head of the octopus with a lightning so bright even Tony had to close his eyes inside the suit. Thor started to kill the baby octopi and they all started to work on the giant mother. Just when they all thought they had it contained, Thor flew away from the street and the hammer hit him so hard on the head that he passed out. Before Tony could even rush to his help, he was caught by a tentacle and was getting squeezed really hard. The last thing he saw was the arm of his suit being ripped apart before he was thrown into a nearby building.

Was he awake, they would have told him that Bucky ended the fight by shooting a bazooka into the brain of the giant and blew it to hell. They will also tell him that he literally parkoured to where Tony was and stood there safeguarding him until evacuation was on their way but oblivious to all that, Tony was unconscious. Tony hated coming awake after losing consciousness. What he hated even more was the med bay with sterile beds and that antiseptic smell but this time, Tony woke in his own bed with the same feeling of being watched. He knew who it was even before he opened his eyes "You know Robocop I know I am handsome but I am not sleeping beauty. You don't have to stand vigil when I am sleeping." Tony made the mistake of turning around and looking at Bucky.

There was a storm in Bucky's eyes and try as he might, Tony cannot avert his eyes off it. The person walking towards him was not completely Bucky Barnes but not completely winter soldier either. Tony was getting such a hard on just by looking at Bucky walking towards him. He actually whimpered when Bucky kneeled on the bed close to him. "Are you scared of me возлюбленная ?" whatever возлюбленная was it sounded sweet to Tony. At his nod to no, Bucky framed his face with his hands, his both hands and drew Tony in for a kiss. Tony considered himself a pro at kissing after all he had a lot of experience but Bucky's kiss was out of the world. It made his thoughts grew quiet and there wasn't even tongue involved. He could feel himself being lowered to bed and Bucky got on top of him.

He didn't know how much he wanted this, how much he wanted Bucky until Bucky deepened their kiss and Tony could taste the coffee he had this morning, Bucky and coffee became his favorite taste right then. When Tony tried to sneak a hand to touch Bucky, with a smile Bucky lifted himself off Tony and whispered "you are still a little bit weak doll. How about you and I have dinner alone tonight and I will show you just how much I want you without worrying about you fainting on me" and just like that he disappeared, in broad day light, in front of his own eyes. Tony was usually a guy who didn't care much for analyzing risks before jumping in but with Bucky he is being careful. He knows he is very much attracted to Bucky. He loses his train of thought anytime Bucky is in the vicinity which is something entirely new for him for Tony Stark always had 10 thoughts racing through his head and he definitely needs to stop referring himself as Tony Stark in third person, Damn it he is doing it again.

What if he does date Bucky and as everything in his life goes, it ends up horrible and he is left short of a friend. For all his attraction towards Bucky, Tony also has considered him a very good friend in a very short period of time and his friendship is very important to Tony. Bucky centers him, he listens to what Tony has to say, stops him when he doesn't understand things (let's face it only 2% of people understand what I am saying) and asks him to explain, brings him coffee, makes him eat regularly, just be in his vicinity without disturbing when he doesn't want to be alone; just thinking all this is making Tony want to be in Bucky's presence.

He just needs to get his thoughts out to someone and walking into the common floor in hopes to catch Clint, he was met with a vision he never thought he would ever see in his life. Wanda was laughing with tears running through her eyes, while Pietro was in a headlock by Bucky and struggling to get free. It would have been okay if not for the fact that trying to escape from the headlock, he tries to run at super speed and ends up dragging Bucky along with him. Clint as usual was perched on a window still and giving pointers to Pietro to get Bucky to release his grip. Natasha was just watching them all with a small smile on her face and ended the façade by tripping Pietro when he ran again.

This was his, his team, and somehow his makeshift family. He would die, go to hell, and come back fighting for each and every one of them. So deep in his thoughts, he didn't notice the blue eyes staring at him. Tony didn't know how much he wanted this and got hit by a pillow in the head for not paying attention. The next second when another pillow was aimed at him, before he could catch it, it floated above his head and exploded stuffing (Oh! Wanda ding dong donkey kong. It is on, soooo on). Even knowing the guy for just a couple of days, Tony was always aware of Bucky and now after the kiss, his skin was tingling to be in the same room as Bucky. He missed the look Clint and Natasha exchanged and a smirk that followed.

When Clint gave a tiny nod and walked away, Tony followed him. There was a lot of questions that Tony wanted to ask Clint but didn't know where to start, so Clint did it for him. “Tony Follow your heart.”(That’s it bird brain, that is all you are going to tell me. Half of my life's regret is that I followed my heart). Clint gave him an imploring look and patted him on the back "you are confused Tony. You never made a bad decision when going with your instincts, but only when you self doubt yourself and that is the last time I am going to have heart to heart conversation with anyone." Shuddering to himself, Clint left to find Natasha.

Never in his life has he ever been this nervous. His stomach feels weird, funny and there is tightness in his chest (Oh!! Dear he is getting a heart attack. Jarvis, Is this a heart attack?) "No Sir! You are merely tense sir. Shall I walk you through breathing properly sir? Ignoring Jarvis, he still have another problem. Tony Stark, Suave extraordinaire, Ladies man, had no clue what to wear. Will Jeans be underdressed? Should he wear a suit? Will the suit be too much? Damnit Jarvis help me. After much consideration, he just decided to wear Jeans and T shirt. That is what Bucky has seen him wearing. He had already placed the order for every type of Pizza available in New York (Bucky just loved his pizza).

Tensing so much, he jumped in the air when there was a knock on the door. With sweaty palms, he opened the door to see Bucky standing there leaning across the door frame in a neatly pressed dark slacks and light green shirt. He has seen Steve wear the same shirt and pant so many times before and Steve has always made it look like grandfather's attempt at modern clothing but on Bucky it made him sinfully handsome. With a smile not quite reaching his eyes, Bucky asked "you going to invite me in Doll?" and that is when Tony noticed something was not right.

Tension was building up in the room and Tony was tongue tied and praying to every deity he had never prayed that he get through dinner without making Bucky uncomfortable because his brain was in the gutter tonight. God He just want to climb Bucky like a tree and lick his all over like a cat and Bucky smelled heavenly. It was just soap and after shave, but the combination with Bucky's natural scent sent Tony's senses reeling. Feeling Bucky's hands on his shoulder hesitantly, "we don't have to do this Tony if you don't want to. In fact let us just consider this just another dinner between friends."

That is when it hit Tony, Bucky was insecure. He made Bucky think he doesn't want him. Drastic situation calls for drastic measures. With no thought in his mind other than making Bucky realize how much Tony wants him, he grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him (stupid Tony instead of pulling Bucky literally fell on him and was caught by Bucky's strong arm). "I hope you understand how much I wanted to do this since today morning." "Are you sure Tony? We don't have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable and you looked really uncomfortable since his morning. I know I am not a prize"

Bucky's voice cracking at the end of his sentence, poured cold water on the raging fire in Tony's body. Speaking nothing, Tony just grabbed Bucky's hand and dragged him into the room closing the door behind him. Leaning against the couch "I am nervous Bucky. Pepper was the only person I have slept with who was a friend and you are my friend now. I don't want to screw our friendship." Bucky just looked at him jaw slacked, "friend, you consider me your friend Tony?" Tony felt so offended "Of course I think of you as my friend, a very sexy friend that I want kiss so deeply to take his breath away. God everytime I look at you, I just want to get on my knees and taste you so deep in my throat. My friendship with you is important to me that I never acted on it. You know….."

Before Tony could finish his sentence, he was being kissed. Firm lips pressed to him so heavenly, so lightly. How could a contact with just one part of the body make him feel like he was on fire again. What is Bucky doing to him. Bucky took his lower lips into his mouth and started to suck it slightly. Tony's hands were tangled in Bucky's hair. When he tilted his head to better angle the kiss, Bucky bit his lip and the sudden sharp sensation only aroused Tony more and with absolute ease, Bucky lifted him to his lap and kissed him again. When coming for breath" I hope you don't mind eating a late dinner Tony." Tony's only answer was to kiss Bucky again and start to take his shirt off. With Bucky's shirt off finally and his skin exposed for Tony to feast, he started to kiss Bucky's neck.

Holding Tony's face in his arms, "maybe we should take it to the bedroom Tony." Ask him later when he lost his shirt or his pants, Tony will not be able to answer. All he know was he was in bed and Bucky was kissing him all over and he had never been this hard in his life, ever. When Tony tried to repeat the favor, all he got was "I want to show you how much I want you Tony. How much I admire you, how much I like you and how much I am falling for you even if it is only 2 days and more than anything I want to enjoy you." With that said, he kissed Tony slowly, lingering in for each kiss.

Tony felt like flying. He loved the weight of Bucky on him and Bucky was kissing his neck, sucking it slightly and marking him. Tony not even once felt uncomfortable showing his scars where the arc reactor had been when Bucky was kissing him this thoroughly, each scar had been kissed and sucked. Tony was shivering, he felt like he was worshipped, he was being cherished, but nobody did that for Tony. "You with me Tony?" Bucky's voice brought him to present and with slight glistened eyes, he just nodded. "Oh Doll" Bucky was kissing him again, all over his face, drinking his tears, kissing his nose "you are so precious Tony, so much loved, god I am falling in love with you Tony"

"I think I have already fallen for you Bucky" and was kissed like he was never kissed in life. Bucky was the virtue of patience, comes with being a sniper. He kissed Tony thoroughly, hands squeezing Tony's ass and sneaked a hand under his boxers and curled his hand around the hard cock and squeezed slightly. Involuntarily, a whimper escaped Tony when Bucky started to stroke him slowly. Tony slowly stroked Bucky's arm where metal meets flesh and kissed it slightly. All clothing removed, Bucky aligned them hip to hip.

Holding both of Tony's arm tightly, he gently grinded their hips together. When Bucky questioned him with his eyes, if he wanted to continue, Tony just nodded. Pining Tony down with his weight, Bucky spread his legs and started to work on making Tony open. Tony threw the lube at Bucky from the night dresser and pushed his fingers one by one, slowly enough not to hurt him but hard enough that Tony couldn't form a coherent thought. If he swore, he wouldn't know. Kissing Bucky was so intense right now for Tony with his fingers in his ass. When he saw nothing but love and desire in Tony's eyes, Bucky slowly slide in. Tony was on fire, his entire world was on fire. Never had he ever experienced this intense.

When Bucky started moving inside him, Tony moved his hips in rhythm. They pulled and pushed at each other, grabbing each others arms, hair, and back, kissing on any part of the skin they could find. Pleasure was building inside Tony and he came so hard, shaking with full force of the orgasm, one hand in Bucky's hair and another fisted in the sheets. Bucky followed immediately after and collapsed on Tony. Nothing other than heavy breathing was heard in the room. Naked, sweaty, and blissfully sated, Tony looked into Bucky's eyes with a smile. Bucky just gave him an intense look and said "how about we try doing this for the rest of our lives, doll?"


End file.
